My grandmothers final goodbye!

My Grandma was such a strong woman in her day. As I got older I could see time catch up with her and she slow down. About 10 years ago the family realized something was wrong with her. Which we later came to understand was Altzeimers.  She was placed in a home because she was to hard to take care of. We thought that was going to be the hardest day of our lives. But we were surprised there was something even harder coming our way. My family lost my grandma twice once when she forgot who we were and how to speak and second when she finally passed away on the 5th of January 2008.

There was a time I had such difficulty going and seeing her. It was not my Grandma anymore it was so hard to see. She became a woman I didn't even recognize, she was super thin with sunken in cheeks and no teeth, her eyes no longer focused and she just stared into space. The only person she really recognized was my grandpa which melted my heart. They were true soul-mates. 

I regret now not going and seeing her more. It actually makes me hurt inside because of it. I just hope she understands why I had such a hard time!

On New Years day the whole family meet at the nursing home to say our goodbyes and to just be with her. My Grandma would always squeeze my hand three times to say I love you. So while my dad was away for a little bit I sat next to her holding her hand squeezing it three times on and off for an hour. Before I left to go home I squeezed her hand three time, whispered I love you in her ear and  kissed her forehead goodbye.

I didn't get to see my grandma alive after that day. My Mom and Dad spent the rest of the week with her along with my Aunt and Grandpa.

The funeral was as nice as they can be and we all said our goodbye to her physical self.  But I was reminded just a few nights ago that my grandma will always be with me in spirt. 

I had a dream that my whole family was in the basement and my grandma came down the stairs like normal. She said goodbye and everyone said goodbye back, but I jumped up went went over to her grabbed her hand squeezed it three times and whisper i love you in her ear. She looked back at me and said I love you too with a silly giggle in her voice that said i have loved you always! I believe that was her saying her final goodbye to the family. 

I love you Grandma and thank you for letting me know you will always be with me in spirt.